Day Eleven

Have to remember to do a daily "before bed" post so I can stop missing days.

Okay, so since I've decided that anyone reading this blog is pretty unlikely, I guess it's just going to be my online diary.  And if anyone does decided to read it, well, then I guess they'll get to know the real me.

I realized yesterday while talking with KP that part of the reason I want so much for her to love me is that I think she's kind of out of my league.  Successful business woman, gorgeous, great kids, well off, that somehow if she thinks I'm worth loving, then she brings me up to her level.  But that's not really the way it works, self worth is just that; it has to come from within, from the self.  No one can do that for you.  If you give someone else that power, you by definition give them the power to take it away.  No going to do that any more, did it for far too long and it's just not worth it.  If I want to be at her level, then I have believe I can be, or that I am already.  Yeah, that sounds like a much better way to go.

Thanks for helping bring that out of me KP, you're a true friend.